Instinct is hard to ignore!
This essay is about the facts of NATURE:
Humans have feelings, abilities, and tendencies, that produce complex patterns of cooperation within small social groups. Biological adaption and evolution have allowed our species to succeed in the constantly changing circumstances and environments all over this Earth. Our natural Tribal/Clan/Group behavior, has broad and complex effects upon us and tends to produce cooperative behavior and emotional attachments to others that help us to survive and reproduce successfully.
Many of the attitudes and rules we refer to as "Culture" have been imposed upon humans very recently, in evolutionary term. During the last few millennium, we have come to live in a way that is decidedly unnatural and emotionally difficult for our species.
The simple truth is, HUMAN females have a very difficult time reproducing. Each pregnancy typically results in a single offspring and it will take her from 3-5 years to complete her obligation to that child. If she managed to survive the rigors of her daily life, including the dangers of childbirth, early Human females might reproduce between Three or four times during her childbearing years and would have needed considerable help during pregnancy and early child rearing. As a direct consequence of these facts, Hominid females evolved some very specific adaptations to help create and sustain long term commitments from her clan.
Females have a much larger investment in the whole biology of reproduction, thus they MUST pursue and bond to her group to assure some chance of surviving the whole 3-5 year process. A female Human being has the instinct to compete for a suitable mate and her social attachment to her clan may be the most important aspect of survival for her and her young.
She has EVOLVED some pretty clever biological adaptations to enhance her attractiveness. Her prominent breasts, narrow waist, flaring hips, round buttocks, help her to attract and keep a mate. Emotional rewards such as Orgasm, Fulfillment, Attachment, Love, and all the variety of Social "Moods" are the result of Brain chemistry in the limbic system, that is the product of biological evolution and adaptations over MILLIONS of Generations .
Sexual competition among females to find the best mates tends to produce the best pairings and thus drives evolution to produce the best Offspring. Suppressing and disguising the effects of estrus allow her to enjoy sex virtually anytime and use her exaggerated secondary sexual characteristics with instinctive skill to attract and retain the interest of Males.
The effect of socializing sexual activity, creates deeper and broader bonds within her clan or tribe. Other important social adaptations include; The instinct of offspring to remain with her and the group, for many years and HELP with succeeding generations.
She instinctively forms deep social attachments with other females and shares responsibilities for tasks that may be critical to survival of all the offspring of the group.
Of course males compete for mates as well, but their instincts are less social and more sexual. It's in their best interest, Biologically, to simply impregnate every fertile female they can find and let the chips fall where they may.
The basic and underlying truth is: Females seek out and hope to attract suitable mates and social attachments that will serve their needs across a significant period of time, while Males can reproduce successfully with an investment of about 5 MINUTES!
All advanced social Primates, including Homo-Sapiens are naturally inclined to live in small polygynous groups. The group is loosely held together by the effects of these instincts, adaptations, and social behaviors.
CONVERSELY, Our Cultural attitudes are learned, and not necessarily part of our Nature. Culture is an EFFECT, not a cause, of our basic biological behavior. As humans began to dominate the environment, we mastered agriculture and began to live in larger groups. Territory and property rights became fundamentally important. Towns and Cities popped up and conflicts between groups and clans began to be common. Cultural behavior is often directly in conflict with our natural cooperative and peaceful instincts.
CULTURE began when RULES were required to prevent conflicts between and within these early communities. Culture can be taught and used to create loyalties and allow people to be manipulated into defending the larger community, not only their own small clan or tribe. Inventing and fostering the idea that it's "US versus them," allowed early religious leaders, warlords, and kings, to unite and control many small clans or tribes and exploit larger territories.
Culture changes every day, and each successive generation learns and applies new ideas and behaviors that are a COGNITIVE effort to make them different and separate from the previous generation. The complexity of memory and thought, what is referred to as "plasticity" within the Human neo-cortex, is used to mitigate and alter both feelings and behaviors.
During the Victorian age, the IDEAL for a woman was a sturdy wench with broad hips and chubby thighs, not the waif-like, super model of today. Whalebone corsets and wire bustles, worn under huge petticoats, were hardly comfortable attire, they were meant to attract the eye and eventually the PENIS of a suitable Male. I suspect her skinny friends spent significant time creating makeup that made them appear more Plump.
Today's girl fancies herself to be innovative and new-wave as she applies mascara to enhance her eyes, and inserts a gold ring through her nose. or eyelid. She FEELS sexy and attractive as she slips into clothing that her father and mother see as grotesque and homely. Her boy friend, "checks her out" for CULTURALLY appropriate "gear," but deep inside his limbic system the chemistry and mood is the same as his dad and his grandfather felt when they were "courted" by mom and granny.
ALL THIS has to do with instinctive and MUCH OLDER adaptations and behaviors of our ancestors and their predecessors the Hominids. Instinct and natural behavior is based upon evolution and biology which only changes over VERY long periods of time. Hominid/Human evolution produced our instincts. Studies of the emotional brain lead to a clear conclusion: NATURE provides distinctly separate but equally important emotional rewards for male and female. Regardless of gender, we tend to behave in ways that produce the emotions we lump together as HAPPINESS.
KNOWING the reasons for all this, doesn't make it any less compelling!
Living together and sharing past, present, and future, with a group of significant others, IS our biological PROGRAM! We crave this sense of "Belonging." Social/Sexual bonding, Love, Dominance, Submission, and other instincts have been pushed aside by cultural concerns. If you seek to enjoy this built in chemistry, you can simply FIND the person who "feels" right and practice the simple behaviors that deliver the reward! This can be included within the context of a modern, intellectually driven, egalitarian, Culture, BUT there are significant Cultural dichotomies that can interfere with enjoying our "Biological programming."
Let Me close this essay with the FACT that I am very supportive of so called, WOMEN'S RIGHTS, issues. Unfortunately, over the last few thousand years, Cultural practices that tend to denigrate one or the other sexual gender, have been propagated. I whole-heartedly support the concept of equal opportunity and the equal pay for equal work issue. BUT, this cultural IDEAL has exceeded the bounds of sensibility. If I am ever trapped in burning building, I HOPE they send a nice "strapping" 6'4" "Fire Person," to drag My 200 lb. ass out of there! There are VERY REAL, Physical and Emotional adaptations and differences between male and female and it's just plain Silly to ignore them.