Master and servant are COUNTERPARTS
They cooperate to set an agenda for the relationship.
There are a few basic concepts that both Master and servant must understand and agree upon when undertaking to build a D/s bond and relationship.
Concept 1: EQUITY of EMOTIONS
Both partners must understand the difference between Dominance and Domineering and between Inequality and Inequity. A true Master believes his servant is equally important in the D/s "equation." They are counterparts, partners, in an emotional investment. The D/s bond or relationship will fail unless He controls her without being domineering, and treats her equitably.
Concept 2: SAFETY and SANITY
Some people enter into a D/s relationship and loose all Common sense. I have seen very intelligent people enter into an erotic power exchange situation and just loose their heads completely. A scene may be exciting and take you to a special place. But while sensations and emotions sweep you away from the mundane, everyday, world, don't completely abandon your brain.
Concept 3: TRUST
D/s only works to bring the physical pleasures and fulfilling emotions both counterparts desire when both are completely sure of the motives and intentions of the other. The fact is, D/s bonds can only work when there is complete trust between partners and trust can not grow between partners unless both are honest and forthright.
Concept 4: RESPONSIBILITY
Although the object of a D/s relationship is Erotic Power Exchange and in a scene, or sometimes even a 24/7 relationship, the partners choose to be unequal in many ways. This choice is based upon the free will of both and doesn't imply that responsibility is between the partners. It is important to understand that it is both servant and Master who bear responsibility to be honest, and forthright when a situation isn't working or might be dangerous.
Concept 5: PUNISHMENT
Every Dominant or Master has a particular style and some use more punishment than others. I am not a severe or even a stern Master.. I love to laugh and I welcome reasonable amounts of Mischief and friskiness! I find positive reinforcement is more to My liking and I truly don't enjoy hurting My servant either physically or emotionally. Having said that, I do believe that punishment has a place and a purpose in a D/s relationship. For a sub to be able to grow and progress she must have a method to atone for the occasional failures she may experience. Ritual punishment allows her to be forgiven and move past any weakness or failure she may feel. Punishment can take the form of physical pain, restrictions of privileges or any discipline that Master and servant feel is appropriate.
Concept 6: PAIN & SENSUALITY
There are many significant differences between BDSM and D/s. Sensuality is the focusing of attention upon the interpretation of sensory input, in order to experience nuance, and subtlety. Essentially, learning to feel, hear, taste, smell, and see.. even the smallest of sensations. BDSM focuses upon pain and is the opposite of sensuality, in that it seeks to constantly increase the "volume" of pain or sensation, until real harm may occur. I "TRAIN" away from Pain and toward Sensuality. (Train is what one must do with "Emotions" as they have no cognitive abilities, being simple "hard wired" limbic brain effects.)
Concept 7: COMMUNICATION and NEGOTIATION
One of the most important concepts in D/s is communication and negotiation. D/s Partners discuss fantasies, feelings, secret desires, needs, and limits. The first objective is to assure understanding by sharing thoughts, feelings, fantasies and limits openly and honestly. When intimacy is added, physical pleasure, joy, and emotional fulfillment, will foster and sustain the bond between Master and servant.