Can your MASTER really own you?

Possession - To bring or cause to fall under the influence or control of.

Ownership - To have or hold as property.

Guardian - One who has the care of the person or property of another.

Slave - A person who has lost control of himself and is dominated by something or someone. A drudge, who is forced to toil without significant reward.

Servant - A person who attends to the needs of another in order to please.

Within the D/s community we often accept simple words without delving into the truth about what those words may or can mean.

There are times when people enjoying this lifestyle deliberately set out to impose upon a naive or susceptible submissive the "idea" that the literal translations of these words are the correct meanings. Some may seek to blur and skew the meanings of words and ideas to suit their own needs or ends. I assure you D/s is not about true slavery or ownership of one person by another.

D/s is sometimes called Erotic Power Exchange. In truth there are only Three ways that people exchange power, whether in an intimate relationship, a business deal, or any other interaction. I call these the ABC's of Erotic Power Exchange:

A is for Adoration... That is, relationship based upon love, respect, honor and desire to please.

B is for Benefit... That is, relationship based upon shared or mutual gain, a bargain with value to both.

C is for Coercion... That is, relationship based upon force, threat, fear, avoiding punishment or discomfort.

Within the D/s relationship we commonly use the terms Master and slave, but the meanings of these words are vastly different from the dictionary definitions above. A Master does not take or bond to a submissive in order to create a drudge or menial servant. A submissive does not seek out the attentions of a Dominant in order to spend her life doing hard, menial and monotonous work. Further, a submissive retains possession of their "right to choose" and their right to "re-choose" or alter her decisions. Regardless of any contract or rules that may have been negotiated, signed or agreed to by both parties, there is never a point in a D/s relationship where a submissive gives up these inherent rights.

Let Me be very clear about this: To use force, abuse, or coercion, to control any other individual is not only immoral and unethical, it violates their spiritual and legal rights.

As a Master I do not "own", as property, My submissive counterpart. We may seek to create the illusion of ownership with symbols, rituals, postures, gestures, expressions, and verbal exchanges. We may formalize our bond with contract or collar to enhance our pleasure. By freely and voluntarily agreeing to and accepting her Master's control and desires the submissive enhances her own pleasures and emotional fulfillment. However, true possession of her "self" is intrinsically her own and will always remain so.

If a submissive does not or cannot offer voluntary consent she must be considered a victim of abuse by the Dominant. In other words, she must be "self-possessed" before she is truly able to offer consent!

I may assume the role of guardian of your well-being, should you offer yourself to Me, but you are never an involuntary drudge as defined above. If you are possessed by Me, it is in the sense of a gift that is treasured and protected from harm.

Being My possession may seem to imply that I may do anything I wish to you, but every human being has inherent rights and regardless of your professed consent, it is impossible to "own" you as an object.

It is possible to give portions of your time, energy and usage to your Master within legal, moral and ethical constraints.

Employment is an obvious example of receiving money or goods in exchange for your work. Some people consider marriage to be another example of the exchange of time, energy, affection and money in the expectation to receive like value.

I except the responsibility to act as a guardian or caretaker for the life, welfare, mental and physical well-being of any novice or charge I accept into my family. I will care for you and demonstrate My regard for you for as long as you agree to consider Me your Master, and continue to demonstrate your care and regard for Me. That is the exchange of value we agree upon. Care must come from desire or esteem. Regard is a "feeling" of respect and affection. These are different words and meanings from those of ownership and possession.

My "ownership" of you, is the illusion we create to enhance our emotional fulfillment and sexual pleasure. We work together to create this "feeling" and both enjoy it as partners.

Therefore I reiterate...Possession in the form of a D/s partnership is a "feeling" that is sought by both partners, not true ownership in the sense of the literal translation of the words.

If a Master thinks He truly "owns" his submissive partner let him just ignore her needs for a time and watch her turn from him to another, more worthy consort.

Submissive women sometimes experience confusion or emotional conflict between what they have learned... I.e. society's "ideals" and your deepest intuitive sense of who and what you are.

Nearly everything you have been exposed to in western civilized culture says you are supposed to be independent, self-confident and strong. this makes it very difficult to accept your instinctive, submissive yearnings. But don't forget, women are also expected to be mother, home maker, lover, career person, etc. etc. etc.

In fact, there is no internal conflict inherent in erotic power exchange. Human beings are very adaptable and multi-faceted creatures and a woman does not have to give up her pride or self esteem to embrace her submissive nature.

I want My servant to value herself highly. I want her to display intellect, imagination, and initiative. I want her to "give" the gift of submission knowing it is a "pearl of great price."

I expect that it will take time to earn the respect and trust of a multi-faceted, modern, woman of substance and I expect that she will work to find peace and joy in the arms and heart of her multi-faceted Master!

Over the past few thousand years, men have been emasculated and women have been defeminized by a confusing array of social concepts that have little to do with our instinctive emotional needs or the realities of human nature.

The accepted social mores of the "Western" world are founded upon so many misconceptions about the nature of human beings, that today, many people find their social and familial relationships lack the emotional content they yearn for.

Families are torn apart by the emotional chaos created as we try to balance instinctive desires against cultural pressures.

Women are left to fend for themselves by men who cannot find emotional satisfaction within their families. A woman who chooses to stay at home rather than compete for a so called "career" is devalued, even by her peers. Men are deserted by wives who secretly yearn for behavior and attitudes that they feel pressure to publicly condemn. Children are abandoned, rather than nurtured, if not physically, at least emotionally, and they find no place for themselves within the structure of family or community and they grow up disconnected, insecure and irresponsible.

When the "New World" was discovered, the Europeans who came here, brought a cultural bias and even organized religions predicated upon the supposition that humans would find fulfilling and happy lives while living within the enforced structure of this unnatural and emotionally inhibited behavior. It is important to understand that much of the current social disaster in "Western Culture" springs from a few centuries of this social "experiment" promoted by people who were ostracized and banished to America, because of their extremist attitudes and ideas.