PAIN vs SENSUALITY:
Sensuality is the application of cognitive awareness to the brain's interpretation of sensory input, in order to experience nuance, and subtlety. Essentially, learning to feel, hear, taste, smell, and see.. even the smallest of sensations.
BDSM often focuses upon pain and is the opposite of sensuality, in that partners often seek to consciously increase the pain or sensation, until real harm may occur.
Therefore I "TRAIN" away from Pain and toward Sensuality. (Train is what one must do with "Emotions" as they have no cognitive abilities, being simple "hard wired" limbic brain effects.)
It may seem silly, at first, but communication involves clear focus upon another and the conventions of D/s correspondence require attention and thought from both Master and servant.
A Dom is addressed with respect and references to Him are capitalized,(You, Your, Sir, M'lord, etc.) References to a submissive are left in lower case,(i, me, my, Your servant, etc.) This requires a focused effort and reinforces the "sense and feeling" of D/s.
I do not allow the term "Master" to be used until a servant is "accepted" as a novice. When I feel she may be ready or acceptable for formal training, I will allow her to submit a petition to Me asking for formal status. Only after she is contracted she may consider Me her "Master" and use that term.
Understand that this "folderol" has purpose... I am not just some power crazed geek who likes to be called "Master"
The formal rituals that are acted out between D/s counterparts and ceremonial styles of communication, as well as body language, postures, gestures, expressions, and particularly eye contact and angles of vision are powerful signals that are significant to the pleasures of D/s. All these things speak to the basic instincts unambiguously. The automatic, limbic, reactions to these signals foster the emotions we seek to enjoy.
THOUGHT vs. INTUITION:
The potential for a sentient being to find genuine happiness is enormous.
Unfortunately the brain cannot resist trying to make sensible concepts of everything that is perceived. This constant pigeon holing and rearranging of reality can lead to confusion, insecurity, and doubt.
A significant aspect of D/s behavior is that it allows both partners the luxury of momentary thoughtlessness.
Acting out these ancient patterns accesses the limbic brain and fosters pure perception and intuition. Emotions flow freely and each can experience joy and fulfillment with no need for mental concepts to explain everything.
I know that despite her best efforts to learn her lessons, My servant may forget what I say... and despite her rapt attention to the games we engage in, she may forget what I do... but I know that she will never forget how I make her FEEL..!
The ABC's of Power Exchange:
Adoration... That is, relationship based upon love, respect, honor and desire to please.
Benefit... That is, relationship based upon shared or mutual gain, a bargain with value to both.
Coercion... That is, relationship based upon force, threat, fear, avoiding punishment or discomfort.
No one should be considered wrong or defective because they are alone, but we are a naturally social animal and there can be no doubt that sexual bonding is in our species best interest.
Through eons of adaptation, Sex has become an integral part of our quest for happiness, but there are obviously many purposes for sex in addition to procreation. Sex is a powerful way to transmit and receive emotional messages and foster what Masters and Johnson call the PLEASURE BOND.
Sex is an important part of any D/s relationship. But, despite what curious outsiders may suspect, the essence of D/s isn't sexual, it is emotional. Sharing emotions is a way people forge bonds, Thus, sexual unions create the sense of community or shared futures that all humans crave.
The heat, texture, pressure and slipperyness of sexual intercourse are significant to this sensual language and a condom destroys many of these sensations for both Master and servant. Obviously, I must be responsible for the well-being and health of My family, therefore I am very careful and never enter into casual liaisons.