Everyone needs to BELONG!
The word kindness derives from "kind," which derives from "kin," meaning those with whom we are related. When we show kindness toward others we accept differences in their behavior and try to understand, assist and cooperate with them. Hillary Clinton's book, "It Takes a Village" uses many anecdotes to address the importance of cooperation and altruism., but she attributes these things to Culture. It is very clear that these behaviors are based upon biology and were deeply ingrained in the soul of mankind long before civilization and complex culture arose.
Human evolution included development of social or community parenting and the care of sick and elderly members of our Clan/Tribe. Of course, Humans also compete and are sometimes cruel and unethical, but the tendency to kindness, cooperation and social bonding is an important evolutionary factor that allowed Homo-Sapiens to become the most dominant creature on Earth.
Humans instinctively know that every person has value and may contribute to the survival of the group/tribe. Whether we are biological parents or not, we instinctively care for our offspring. We know that older members of our group have knowledge and wisdom to share. We care for sick people, because they are important to us. We bury our dead with rituals of respect and tell tales of ancestors around the campfire to honor their accomplishments. Over the Eons of time these tendencies became deeply embedded in the collective psyche of Humanity because they improve our species' chances of survival. Communication evolved to a higher degree in Humans because sharing experiences added to the scope of our knowledge.
Advocates of a "lean and mean" society sometimes deride what they call "altruistic" behavior, claiming it goes against "survival of the fittest." And competition produces the strongest individuals. But this criticism doesn't hold water, because the human Clan/Tribe/Group/Team or whatever you may call it... thrives when all of its members are valued and well cared-for. Talents and Skills are widely distributed among individuals and the group benefits from an attitude of universal kindness toward all.
I believe many of the worlds scariest problems stem from CULTURAL INHIBITIONS to our natural affinity for each other.
As a Scientist, I know how humans are wired up emotionally and I understand our biological roots. As a species, we would rather "Fuck than Fight!" and whatever other identifiable tendencies we may have, as a species, our instinct to cooperate and care for each other, transcends every other aspect of human behavior.
Homo sapiens are an extremely social animal and if you think "Ozzie and Harriet" is the ideal way for humans to interact, you are mistaken. In fact, the Romantic Ideals of Modern Culture have only existed for the past few hundred years and the "Serial Monogamy" that we tend to see as traditionally correct behavior, is simply an intellectual adaptation to the RULES of civilized cultures that arose over the past 4.000 to 5,000 Thousand years. (The blink of an Eye in evolutionary terms.).
Homo Sapiens has existed as a distinct species for at least 80,000 years. Most Anthropologists agree that our species is innately Polygynous. We lived in small clans or tribes dominated by a single Male who controlled nearly every aspect of our daily lives, including mating. This guy was "Daddy" to many of the clan's offspring and used sex as a fundamental tool to help control the whole group. All the Females bonded to him and were shared with his allies. This may seem like "shocking" behavior, but many tribal cultures continue to follow this highly successful social system, even in the 21st Century.
In My view it's not only wrong.. It just plain LAZY to abrogate your personal responsibility to make wise choices and simply "buy into" a set of simple RULES for behavior. I urge everyone, including My most treasured servants to allow themselves to experience any relationship that seems RIGHT... Of course. It is important to pursue your life's path Ethically. that is; to face your choices with concern and care for everyone they may affect. If you fail in this, you will not be happy. HOWEVER, to abandon your own personal needs and agenda because of arbitrary rules and inhibitions that that are enforced by a Social Structure or Culture that doesn't provide for your emotional fulfillment, is a mistake.
It doesn't matter whether it is a Religious tenet, Community standard, Cultural more, or the Boy Scout Manual...! Genuine morality demands that you accept the responsibility and use your own mind and your GUTS to feel your way along and make proper choices. Anyone who takes the time to think clearly can easily see, Lies aren't always Wrong, Stealing isn't always Bad, even Murder, can be ethically justifiable in some cases. Surely, we can learn to manage our relationships in ways that are emotionally fulfilling for us without harming others.
Human Beings evolved biological tools to allow us to have relationships of all kinds, durations, and degrees of intimacy. We thrive on interactions of every kind and technology has provided vast opportunities to extend our relationships beyond the campfires of our ancestors.
Love and sex are deeply implanted emotional tools that we humans inherit from millions of years of evolution. Our species may be the most cooperative, loving, and sexiest, animal ever to inhabit this Earth. Our survival and success, is predicated upon these feelings and instincts. Even in the 21st Century, it is certainly possible and I believe preferable, to enjoy family, friends, and acquaintances, of every stripe. Happiness depends upon building and sustaining relationships that serveour needs and the needs of those we love.
Whether it's Family, Friend or Intimate… On-line fantasy or up close and slippery… Plain old Vanilla, Homosexual, D/s, BDSM, or Dress-Up and Act-out... ALL RELATIONSHIPS are worthy of our attention! We grow our souls from human interaction and we reward our spirits as well, to say nothing of the physical joys!
SO…I urge you to love others as they arrive in your life. Allow yourself to experience and interact with anyone and everyone who is ethically appropriate, despite the artificial inhibitions that are created by our "Civilized" Cultures.
ENJOY your nature, use your instincts, and feel yourself begin to GLOW.